My Menopause Manifesto
Or how I fit an avalanche of expert advice into a proper desert lifestyle.
Words by Tracey Engelking
Let’s be honest. Aging and all that goes with it happen entirely against our will. We didn’t ask for this. There was no consultation. No group text. I mean, I’m embracing as best I can, but traversing the landscape of perimenopause into menopause can feel like going on a side quest to collect as many do’s and don’ts as possible. Our caregivers do their best to explain it all, but their advice is far too plentiful and daunting for most of us. So, I offer you all the ways I’m tailoring it to fit my best life.
Get Your Diet Sorted
We’ve all tried to cut out refined sugar, white flour, candy, desserts, chips, pizza, fried foods, fast food, joyous food… It’s too much. I’m going with finding balance. Mostly low-carb, high-fiber, high-protein. I eat dark chocolate when at home, instead of my beloved chips and ice cream. But I always have dessert if I go out to eat. And there is very large chance a Juicy Lucy cheeseburger and extra crispy fries from Blackbook finds their way into my tummy here and there. Balance, babes.
Get Mad Fit and Calm Your Soul
Body in motion/mind in meditation really does feel better in the long run. Thankfully, I’ve always been a sporty gal, so I do fairly well here. If you haven’t upped your fitness game, start easy and find something that works. You like music and dance? Try Zumba or country line dancing. Like to be outside? Vigorous walking or pickleball. Water-lover? Swim laps, try water aerobics, or go big into water polo or Underwater Torpedo League! Get workout sweaty to stop getting hot flash sweaty.
Supplements For Days
Gurl, I did not know we could need so many remedies just to get back to the way we felt at 40, but here we are! Estradiol cream, turmeric, multivitamins, vitamin D, black cohosh, beef liver spleen, magnesium, shilajit, fish oil, rose hip oil, hyaluronic acid suppositories, hairgrowth pills, warm lemon water, etc. The list is endless. But taken alongside our prescriptions, they do work. So, cheers to us with our rattler pill cases in our refrigerators! Group high-five!
Limit Your Naughty Habits
Yeah, OK, so we give ourselves a C+ here. We cannot act like we don’t know experts will tell us to limit or totally avoid alcohol. But we also do love a good happy hour and two-brunch Sunday. I mean, life is happening. We can’t not have at least a few days here and there spent tipsily tripping our way around an Uber, right? As for illicit drugs, well, speaking of tripping, LOL! A little edible THC help slide you into a more mellow you. Know the source and test your product. Kits are free and readily available — either via DAP Health’s Harm Reduction department, or at the nonprofit’s harm reduction vending machine inside Hunters Nightclub on Arenas Road in Palm Springs. Put your mind at ease before you alter your state.
Increase Your Naughty Habits
As the owner of a high libido with a voracious sexual appetite, I was shocked to hear that vaginal atrophy can hit even the most active of us. Another “WTF?” moment brought to us by our meno journey! I am now at peace with sweet lady lube, and vaginal creams and suppositories. Also, I make sure I’m keeping track of my orgasms — quality, ease of achievement, number per week. If this isn’t something you find easy, or are a little embarrassed to ask advice on, talk to your doctor or the staff of a sex shop like Rough Trade. Even if you need to write it down and pass a note. There are tons of solutions, so no need to suffer here!
Love Yourself Inside and Out
This is the one, right? We can totally get rung out during this chapter. We look in the mirror and somedays we don’t see ourselves as we remember. Our body hurts or is flat-out revolting against our wants. We’re tired and hormonal…but we are here. We are in this. Unsolicited, but in it regardless. We have to find a way to love this new us. On the days when we can’t find that self-love, we have to get on the text chain with our besties, or get on a message board, and lament to the likeminded. We need to ask for and find support, because this is the ride where some days, we love it and have our hands up whooping in joy. Other days, we just want to get off and stop the spinning. Reach out, baby. We don’t totally have this, but we kinda do, right?
There you go. The ways I’m really getting through it. If you have your own secret sauce, I’m all ready to hear and try it! When you see me out, come share away! Let’s be in this together.
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