A Guide to Safely Hooking Up Online

While popular online dating and hookup apps offer a convenient way to meet new people, their relative anonymity can also leave you open to danger. It’s therefore essential that you prioritize your safety. This guide is aimed at those who use these apps and would like to reduce the risk of situations that are uncomfortable at best, and life-threatening at worst.

Before

Define Expectations
Discuss intentions and desires openly. Talk in detail about what you’re both looking for, including any kinks/fetishes. If either
of you uses drugs, communicate your preferences and boundaries clearly.

Exchange Face Pics
Insist on receiving recent face pics. If they refuse to share, that’s a red flag. Move on.

Get a Phone Number
Swap phone numbers, then give a call or send a text. If they refuse to share, that’s a red flag. Move on.

Take Screenshots
Capture the person’s profile, face pics, and all your texted conversation, including their phone number. This documentation can be vital if issues arise later.

Tell a Friend
Share details (who, what, where) with a trusted friend. Ask that they check up on you if they don’t hear from you within an agreed-upon time.

Secure Valuables and Beware of Scams
Be cautious and secure your valuables. Be vigilant about scams and fraudulent behavior.

Install a Security Camera
If you have security cameras, such as a security doorbell or surveillance system, use them to observe the person before opening your door. If you don’t have cameras, you can still lessen potential risk by telling the person you do.

Trust Your Instincts
Above all, no matter what, listen to your gut. It rarely lies. If anything feels off at any point, you have the right to end the interaction at any time — even during or after sex. Consent is continuous, and you can withdraw it at any moment.

During

Trust Your Instincts

Above all, no matter what, listen to your gut. It rarely lies. If anything feels off at any point, you have the right to end the interaction at any time — even during or after sex. Consent is continuous, and you can withdraw it at any moment.

Note Physical Characteristics
Pay attention to distinctive features such as scars, tattoos, or birthmarks. This may be useful to identify the person later.

Bondage
Be extremely careful when using bondage and restraints with someone you don’t know.

Stay Sober
Don’t play when you’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which can lead to poor judgment and leave you very vulnerable.

Engage in Safer Drug Use
If you do choose to use drugs, do so as wisely as possible. And test them beforehand, whether they’re from an unknown source or not. Free fentanyl and xylazine testing strips are widely available — including at DAP Health — and can help prevent accidental overdoses.

This Isn’t Fun Anymore!

Drugged and/or Assaulted?
You may suddenly find yourself incapacitated, or unable to consent. Common symptoms of having been drugged include drowsiness, disorientation, dizziness, and/or excessive intoxication despite having consumed a minimal amount of alcohol or drugs.

Collect Evidence
If you can do so safely and discreetly, take photos or videos of your attacker, yourself, relevant objects, and your location. This evidence could help legal action you may choose to pursue.

Leave
If you believe you’ve been drugged, or are in immediate danger, try to leave safely.

Stay, Scream, Fight Back
If leaving isn’t possible, scream to attract attention, and/or use any available object to defend yourself.

Call 911
If you can, call 911. Explain your situation as clearly and calmly as possible, providing your location. If you’re unable to speak, stay on the line to allow emergency services to trace your call.

After

Remember It’s Not Your Fault
It’s important to recognize that shame and embarrassment are common responses, but please know you are not to blame. Assaults can happen to individuals of all genders, and you are innocent in this situation.

Seek Medical Attention
This is crucial to ensure your well-being and to collect any potential evidence.

Make a Police Report
If you’ve experienced a crime, reporting it to the authorities can help prevent further harm to others. Also, remember that reporting a crime won’t result in trouble if you’ve been using drugs.

Embrace Support
Recognize you’ve endured emotional and physical trauma, and that seeking help is a courageous step. Whether you reach out to friends, family, or specialized support organizations, countless others have walked similar paths. You’re not alone in this journey. Support is available to uplift and guide you through it.

These are simply suggestions, and it’s essential to use what works best for you and your situation.

A Guide to Hookup App Lingo

This glossary is your dating app decoder.

[+] HIV-positive

+/- Interested in HIV-positive/negative

420-friendly Into marijuana

Admin Short for administer (injecting someone with drugs)

Anon Short for anonymous (a preference for not knowing personal details before connecting)

On Deck Having drugs for sale

BB (AKA Bareback, Raw, Breeding, Taking Loads) Condomless anal sex

DDF Drug- and disease-free

Discreet Closeted or in a relationship but looking

DL On the down low (closeted or in a relationship but looking)

DTF Down to f***

Host Hooking up at their place

Looking Interested in hooking up

NSA No strings attached (sex without emotional fidelity or future expectations)

Party Into drugs

PNP Party and Play (refers to drugs and sex)

T Tina (crystal meth)

Travel Not hooking up at their place