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Making an IMPACT

Making an Impact

 

Behind The Scenes Of The Behind-The-Scenes Tour Dap Health Offers To Prospective Donors

 

Words by Rory Taylor

 

In 2021, Desert AIDS Project rebranded itself as DAP Health, a broader name to match a broader mission. “We’ve upgraded our services to include primary care and so much more,” says Director of Development James Lindquist. “You can now get mental health care, food, clothing — all these other services. These changes coincided with COVID-19-related interruptions in other fundraising efforts, so a novel approach was needed to connect partners to the expanded mission.”

In June of 2021, the IMPACT Hour — a facility tour for prospective donors that features behind-the-scenes spaces alongside testimonials — was introduced. The visit is intended to inform and to forge connections, rather than to ask for donations.

Entering the Annette Bloch CARE Building, DAP Health’s diversity of care immediately becomes visible in the several clinics within the structure, each named for a color corresponding to chakras: yellow for the solar plexus, green for the heart, blue for the throat, purple for the mind, and orange for the sacral region. Lindquist says this was done to promote privacy and dignity for patients and clients, and to avoid creating shame and stigma. 

“You can go to any primary care physician for your services at any of our clinics,” Lindquist continues. “If you go to the reception desk, you say, ‘I have an appointment in the Green Clinic,’ and they will direct you there. They’re not gonna know you’re here because of ‘X.’”

The tour consists of three primary stops, or “buckets,” focusing on ending epidemics, health equity, and mental health and addiction services. Each bucket features a storyteller — an employee, patient, or client — who helps demystify more of the organization’s operations and reach, following a “myth, fact, gap, need” framework. 

“With ending epidemics, we talk about a myth where people believe they’re not susceptible to infectious disease,” says Lindquist. “The fact of the matter is that everybody can get infected by something. COVID, HIV, mpox. Plus, in the Coachella Valley, 15% of people between the ages of 16 and 94 don’t have insurance, compared to the state average of 10%.”

One IMPACT Hour storyteller is LaWanda Manigo, a patient and client at DAP Health who challenges stereotypes about what is broadly perceived as queer health issues. “DAP Health is not just for what some people would typically believe would be [gay] white males,” says Manigo. “I’m letting everybody know there’s other options.” 

Meeting guests in the Blue Clinic, Manigo shares how living with HIV as a straight, Black woman impacts quality of life, and how a little education goes a long way. “They have educated me about my diseases, about my health, and have just made me, overall, a better person and a more informed patient, so that I can be more proactive and take a firmer stand in my own health care,” she says. “And that’s a benefit that’s gonna last me the rest of my life.”

That education comes not only in patient-practitioner relationships, but also through learning seminars with pharmaceutical representatives, group wellness programs, and social groups covering everything from cutting-edge HIV treatment and diabetes prevention to knitting and dog walking. 

At the core of the clinic cluster is the bullpen — the first tour stop, and one that exemplifies the broader mission DAP Health has taken on. “All the providers you have at DAP Health get together in the morning before your visit to discuss your case in what they call the bullpen,” says Manigo. “Everybody is touching base, so they get an overall view of what you’re dealing with as a complete person.” Lindquist echoes the great value found in holistic care. “I think a lot of times in our health care, you just get parts of people, you get fractions,” he says. “If you’re getting your primary care at one facility, but then you’re getting your dental somewhere else and you’re taking care of your sexual wellness somewhere else, and you’re getting your therapist somewhere else — that’s four places I’ve just named! And how many of those typically will be talking to each other?” 

The IMPACT Hour tours normally happen every second Wednesday from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Invitations are made by staff and current donors. 

For more information, please visit: https://www.daphealth.org/support-our-mission/

Patrick Pierre

Patrick Pierre

His Alter Ego Patty Cakes Connects People Through Love, Honesty, And A Touch Of Sass 

Words by Staci Backauskas • Photos by Zach Ivey

 

Known to many as Patty Cakes, the gregarious drag queen who creates safe spaces for people to connect with themselves and one another, Patrick Pierre moves through the world with kindness and an aversion to facade. “You’ve got to sit in the truth, right?” he asks rhetorically. “You can’t project something onto someone just so your fake idea can be your fake truth.”

Pierre’s commitment to that path stems from a childhood where he learned how to navigate between joy and trauma at an early age. At 3, his mother left him and his younger brother in Haiti to follow his father to the U.S. For two years, they lived with his grandmother in a house overflowing with young cousins whose parents had made the same choice.

It was in that organized chaos that Patty Cakes first appeared. “She was this energy with a larger-than-life personality that had the power and inner strength, the confidence to look after my younger brother,” he says. 

When they boarded a plane for New York two years later, the excitement of seeing the city lights from the air was tempered with the stress of the reunion. “When we arrived, my brother didn’t recognize my mother,” he shares. “And I was only a year-and-a-half when my father left. It felt like abandonment.”

Both his neighborhood and the Catholic school he attended were fully integrated, which showed Pierre how acceptance benefits everyone. “We had the Irish across the street, the Filipinos next door, the Jamaicans on the corner. When I look back, growing up in that community is one of the treasures of my childhood.”

Those formative years provided insights into the similarities shared by humans and the superficiality of most differences. “That’s the American fabric,” he says. “It’s not this whitewashed ‘Let’s make America great again.’ We’re the country of promises. People are at the border because they want to be a part of this American experiment. But we keep them at bay coming from a place of lack. But that was never America’s story.”

Pierre feels a responsibility to share that story with the world, and Patty Cakes is his public way of doing that. “I don’t have a guard up,” he says. “I’m here meeting you with my arms open.”

Patty Cakes first performed at the Boatslip Resort & Beach Club in Provincetown in 1994. “It was the crown jewel of bars in P’town,” Pierre says. While working as a cocktail waiter, he noticed the bar was empty after Tea Dance, so he approached the owner with the idea of doing live “Dating Game” and “Newlywed Game” shows. 

Those were successful, which buoyed his confidence and unknowingly laid the foundation for the type of drag queen Patty Cakes is — a host, emcee, and storyteller. “I cannot lip sync!” Pierre laughs. “What I do is take Patrick’s personality and identity and put them through this prism to shine them into the world.”

This is the energy he brought to DAP Health’s Pride Pavilion in November 2022, when he hosted the Speed Friending event. “It was the first time we had tried this idea of breaking isolation by introducing LGBTQ+ folks to each other in a way that was accessible to everyone,” says DAP Health Director of Brand Marketing Steven Henke. “Patty Cakes made everyone feel they were part of Palm Springs Pride.

Pierre began volunteering with DAP Health in 2013, a year after he relocated to Palm Springs from Atlanta. “I lost three houses in the crash, was thousands of dollars in debt, and had a crappy credit score,” he laughs. “So, I came West.” 

Another organization he donates his time to is Brothers of the Desert, a nonprofit that provides a network of support for Black gay men in the area. “There is the compounded stigma of being Black and gay,” he says. “Here there’s an instant connection. A lot of things don’t need to be said because they’re understood. We want to take the love and support we have within us and bring it into Palm Springs and the Coachella Valley.”

Pierre appreciates the relationship the Brothers have with DAP Health, and highlights the importance of reaching more of the Black community with resources, education, and opportunities for camaraderie. “It’s been a wonderful symbiotic relationship,” he says. “DAP Health has helped us get the word out on who the Brothers are, and really supports us.”

For the foreseeable future, Pierre is focused on building a bigger platform for Patty Cakes. “For the past 10 years, I’ve been rebuilding and licking my wounds so I’m looking forward to really stepping into who I know myself to be and letting the world know Patrick and Patty Cakes,” he says. “I’ve had a lot of bumps and scrapes, and now I’m ready to, you know, conquer the world.”

The Kier Royale Treatment

The Kier Royale Treatment

 

Monster legend Udo Kier thrifts at all four of DAP Health’s Revivals stores 

 

Words by Kay Kudukis • Photo by Kelly Puleio

 

Udo Kier has had a monster career in more ways than one. His acting credits span six decades working with venerated and provocative filmmakers like Andy Warhol and Lars Von Trier. You might recall him in Gus Van Sant’s “My Own Private Idaho” as Hans, the flamboyant lamp dancer, in a threesome with River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves. More recently, he’s got a six-episode arc on the Al Pacino led “Hunters” as Adolph Hitler, and a new movie, “My Neighbor, Adolph.” 

“I’ve played Adolph Hitler five times,” Kier says wryly. “My [inner] direction was always comedy. I think about Charlie Chaplin in ‘The Dictator’ when he kicks the world.”

Kier is used to playing monsters. In fact, he’s a cult film monster staple. He played the doctor in Andy Warhol’s “Flesh for Frankenstein,” and the lead in “Blood for Dracula,” from frequent Warhol collaborator Paul Morrissey. He’s also portrayed Jack the Ripper and a slew of other unsavory characters.

When he’s not filming, there’s a fairly good chance you’ll run into Kier at one of the four Coachella Valley Revivals thrift stores. Unlike branded chain retailers, Revivals offers something entirely different at every outpost, whether it’s Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Palm Desert, or Indio. 

It’s not clothes Kier is seeking — although he does have a thing for vintage ties. No, the man is into art. It doesn’t have to be a famous artist, but it must speak to him. He has been spoken to a lot over the years. Hence his four shipping containers full of thrifted treasures. 

When asked why he thrifts, Kier’s answer is simple: “I love it.” But maybe that quartet of receptacles bursting with art and furniture finds have something to do with his past. 

On October 14, 1944, Operation Hurricane launched a 24-hour bombing campaign on Cologne, Germany. Explosives pounded the city — including the hospital where Kier’s mom was in labor with him — relentlessly. They survived, but barely. When it was over, Cologne, the city that had been built in 50 A.D., was in ruins. Things were so bad, Cardinal Josef Frings told his people “Thou shalt not steal” was temporarily on hold, encouraging them to take whatever they needed to survive. 

At 18, Kier moved to London to learn English. Now recovered from the Blitz — the eight-month, nonstop bombing by the Nazis — London was back to her jolly old self and swinging into the ’60s. Counterculture was so far out it was in. 

One day, in a coffee shop, Kier was approached by a man who asked him if he’d like to be in a film. Kier said, “I don’t know how to act.” The director replied, “I don’t care.” One screen test later, he was cast as the gigolo in “Road to Santa Fe,” directed by Michael Sarne of “Myra Breckinridge” fame. Since then, Kier has appeared in more than 220 movies.

His love of art is not limited to paintings and sculptures, but includes glassware, pottery, and architectural furniture, mainly midcentury modern. When Kier purchased his first home in Los Angeles, needing to furnish it, he did it all by thrifting. His first piece was a George Nelson chair, one of Herman Miller’s designers. 

On one thrilling thrifting adventure, Kier found a pair of chairs with metal slats for the back. Enter his prized vintage ties. He wove 11 of them into each chair as backing. If he gets bored with those, he swaps them out.

Unlike many thrifters, Kier isn’t in it for the resale value. He also doesn’t go thinking, “I need something for that wall.” No, he indulges strictly for the pleasure of finding something he would like to enjoy for longer than a glance. In fact, if a friend is over at his home (a repurposed 1965 Palm Springs library designed by John Porter Clark and starchitect Albert Frey) and admires one of his treasures, there’s a fairly good chance — if Kier’s done enjoying it — it’s going home with said friend. 

In 2021, Kier played the lead in writer-director Todd Stephens’ film “Swan Song.” The movie is based on the real, outrageous, and famously controversial Sandusky, Ohio hairdresser Pat Pitsenbarger. In one scene, a thrift store owner tells Pat how much his life has impacted her own, and gifts him with a lime green leisure suit. Whether Stephens knew of Kier’s thrifting passion and generous nature is unknown. Either way, it’s a very nice little Easter egg for those on the hunt.

Strength in Numbers

Strength in Numbers

 

The Coming Out Experience at DAP Health is all about sharing stories and making connections

 

When it comes to gay men with experiences of coming out, Rob Thomas and Ron King had theirs at opposite ends of the age spectrum.

Thomas recalls he was 12, lying in his bed and wondering if he was bisexual. It wasn’t until he was 18 and having sex with his first male lover that he realized he wasn’t bi but gay — and that the coming out process was just beginning for him. 

King was 47 and married with two adult children when he decided to end his marriage and come out to himself and the world.

Thomas, now 53, and King, 71, have been a couple for 10 years and currently live together in Palm Springs. On occasion, they discuss different aspects of their coming out stories as part of the DAP Health Wellness Center’s weekly Zoom group called The Coming Out Experience. And as both point out, coming out isn’t a one-shot deal. “We keep touching on the fact that the coming out experience is very ongoing,” King says. “There are all sorts of little nuances.” Or as Thomas puts it, “You probably come out with everything you say as it relates to your sexuality in any everyday conversation.” 

Those nuances and everyday conversations likely dovetail with other aspects of a person’s sexuality, too. For Thomas and King, it could be their May/December relationship, “which many people don’t understand,” King claims. 

Thomas and King are also an interracial couple. And Thomas is on Social Security disability, having gone blind in 2005 from diabetic retinopathy, the leading cause of blindness in working-age adults. King is a retired special education teacher, a retired massage therapist, and also an interfaith minister who still officiates at weddings. He says he’s been a client of DAP Health since 2014 and a participant in the Wellness Center’s activities for years. 

Six months ago, Thomas started receiving dental services at DAP Health, which qualified him to engage in Wellness Center activities, too. Thomas notes that King found The Coming Out Experience beneficial and liked the other participants, which piqued Thomas’ curiosity. “I thought, well, why don’t I get involved in this and see what it’s about? So far, it’s been a good thing.”

Both Thomas and King give high marks to Wellness Center Career Development Specialist Steve Rossetti, who facilitates the group. Rossetti has an extensive history both as a therapist — specifically, a cognitive behavioral therapist — and as a director of employee training for two companies in Chicago. He began working at DAP Health in 2018 and started The Coming Out Experience in 2020. Rossetti himself came out as gay in 1991 at age 31.

Rossetti introduces group discussions with a set topic, then tries to drive the discussion with questions. Thomas notes that Rossetti invites group members to call or email him with related topics they wish to discuss. “This is your group. So, bring me what you want to talk about,” Thomas quotes Rossetti as saying.

In a separate interview, Rossetti reiterates King’s perspective that the coming out process is ongoing, offering new challenges as one ages. This is particularly true for those who have yet to learn how to live their authentic selves. Instead, Rossetti says, many can be classified as “situationally gay,” where they can be queer for some people like friends or family members, but not for others like colleagues or neighbors. 

Rossetti says this can lead to the “pause effect,” as one stops and considers how best to respond when someone asks if one is dating or in a relationship. “You pause and calculate. What do I disclose? Why is this person asking me? Is it safe? Do I feel comfortable disclosing I’m gay?”

According to Rossetti, this doesn’t mean you have to lead with, “Oh, hey, I’m gay.” But Rossetti says this often takes an acquired ability of “just being natural and transparent with who you are. The ability to know you’re living authentically.” 

Rossetti says The Coming Out Experience attracts four to 12 participants each week, mostly men in their 50s through 80s — an age range, he points out, that “just kind of evolved.” Nevertheless, Rossetti says the group is inclusive and that younger participants, as well as female, trans, and nonbinary members are welcome, too.

These groups, Thomas adds, “show that DAP Health stands by what it says in terms of treating the person holistically, looking at all parts, the mind and the body.” As for The Coming Out Experience, it’s like “informal group counseling, where you get together with people who have common experiences and learn from each other.”

The Coming Out Experience meets via Zoom on Thursdays from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. Those interested are encouraged to call Steve Rossetti at 760.322.6378, or to email him at [email protected].

He's Here

He’s Here

 

Chef, Restaurateur, And Community Leader Albert Gonzalez Has Come A Long Way To Give Back

 

Words by Daniel Hirsch • Photos by John Paschal

 

As a young person growing up in Indio, Albert Gonzalez didn’t think there were other gay people like him in the Coachella Valley. Much like to the desert itself, the intervening years have brought incredible transformation to Gonzalez’s life. He’s emerged as an essential leader in the region’s LGBTQ+ community. 

Along with his partner in business and life, Willie Rhine, Gonzalez co-owns Palm Springs’ Eight4Nine Restaurant & Lounge. A self-taught pastry chef, he now runs the kitchen. Eight4Nine has frequently hosted events for organizations such as DAP Health and the LGBTQ Community Center of the Desert, given in-kind donations to numerous local charities, and even provided meal deliveries to first responders and older adults during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Gonzalez and Rhine have also given back through philanthropy. They participate in DAP Health’s major donor program Partners for Life, are Angels at AIDS Assistance Program – Food Samaritans, and contribute to the Center as longtime Ocotillo members. Since 2019, Gonzalez has also been on the Center’s board of directors. To top it all off, he’s worked 100 volunteer hours at DAP Health’s Revivals Thrift Store, and been a frequent volunteer at the Palm Springs Animal Shelter.

Gonzalez’s personal philosophy of service is a simple one, described as “the conundrum where you have to give it away in order to keep it.”

Giving back to the communities he’s been a part of includes his community of origin. With Gonzalez’s involvement on its board, the Center has amped up its programing in the East Valley by offering new programs to LGBTQ+ young people. 

“He’s just got this incredibly kind, wonderful spirit,” says former Center Executive Director and CEO Rob Wheeler. “If we’re struggling with something, Albert is one of the first people we reach out to.”

For Gonzalez, his current abundance didn’t always seem likely. It meant detaching from his close-knit family of origin, getting sober, and teaching himself how to cook from a discount Betty Crocker cookbook. “Growing up here in the valley, I didn’t have an idea of where to go, what goals to have in life,” he says. “Today my life is very different, it’s beyond my wildest dreams.”

Breaking the Bubble

Gonzalez describes his upbringing in Indio in the 1980s and ’90s as “a bubble.” When the 43-year-old was young, his part of the East Valley hadn’t experienced the economic prosperity felt elsewhere. To Gonzalez, it was isolated and remote.

“I grew up very conservative,” he says. “Going to church basically alienated everybody around us.”

Gonzalez is the second eldest of four children of working-class parents — a landscaper and an office administrator — whose own parents immigrated to the city of Thermal from Mexico. Gonzalez’s folks broke off from the rest of the extended family when they left the Catholic church and became members of a born-again, Apostolic church.

From an early age, Gonzalez knew he was gay. As an active member in his conservative church, it tormented him even as he served as youth president and choir director. During pastors’ sermons declaring gay acts as sin, Gonzalez prayed that nobody would notice he was different. At school, some did notice, and he fended off bullying from a young age. “There’s always that sense of loneliness,” he says. “And then, given my background, that I grew up with the church, that only exacerbated it.”

It wasn’t until he was 20 that Gonzalez interacted with out gay people. Working as an office assistant at the Riverside County Department of Mental Health, he met his friend and future mentor Damon Jacobs, a psychotherapist and early PrEP proponent who has worked with DAP Health. When Jacobs invited him to a birthday party in Palm Springs, Gonzalez’s sheltered existence cracked open. 

“I felt at home,” Gonzalez says. “I felt that these are my people… Yet I never knew about it, just living 30 minutes away.”

Circle K to Cartier

With Jacobs’ help, Gonzalez moved out of his parents’ home and relocated to Palm Springs. To his surprise, his parents accepted his sexuality and choice to leave Indio, but that didn’t mean being out and independent came easy. “We are raised with that fear of sex,” he says. “We don’t get to experience it in a healthy way.” 

Drug use, alcohol abuse, and more than a few unhealthy romantic and sexual relationships consumed Gonzalez’s early 20s. At age 25, he started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and worked to get sober. (Gonzalez will celebrate 17 years of sobriety in
October 2023.)

Around this time, a chance encounter with Rhine forever altered his path. Gonzalez isn’t shy about sharing how and where they met: They locked eyes outside of a Circle K and went home together soon thereafter. This casual encounter blossomed into a romantic relationship that ultimately transformed into a committed life partnership. To mark their commitment, Gonzalez and Rhine bought each other Cartier bracelets; Gonzalez jokes that if he ever writes a memoir, it would be titled “From Circle K to Cartier.”

“The words that come to mind when I think of Albert: kind, passionate, stubborn, lovable,” says Rhine, adding: “Did I say stubborn?”

Rhine saw that stubbornness in action in the early days of their relationship. At the time, he was general manager of Lulu California Bistro. When Gonzalez, who was still working at the Department of Mental Health, expressed interest in restaurant work, Rhine hired him as maître d’. Working in restaurants ignited something in Gonzalez that came to full fruition when the couple went shopping at a gift shop one Sunday afternoon. That day, Gonzalez purchased the aforementioned Betty Crocker cookbook. 

Seeing Gonzalez pick up the cookbook, Rhine was initially dismissive. “My response was, ‘Why are you buying that? It’s a waste of money. You don’t bake. You’ll never use it,’” he recalls. But Gonzalez, whose only gastronomic experience was watching cooking shows on TV, insisted on buying it. From that first cookbook and more to come — plus a few classes at the Culinary Institute of America — Gonzalez taught himself to bake. Occasionally sharing cakes with friends turned into a full-fledged passion. His confections soon grew more and more refined. By the time Rhine opened Eight4Nine in 2015, Gonzalez had become the ideal pastry chef. 

Back to the East Valley

When the LGBTQ Community Center of the Desert partnered with the nonprofit Alianza to open a youth center in the East Coachella Valley, both organizations knew their own leadership needed to reflect the largely Latino and immigrant communities they hoped to serve. As an emerging leader in the LGBTQ+ community — not to mention an Indio native — Gonzalez was an obvious choice to join the board.

“Albert is able to pull from his own experience growing up as a young person in Indio,” says Wheeler. “He helped us think about the right questions we should be asking when we were thinking about need, about what issues young people might be facing in the East Valley.”

Opened in 2016, the Center Eastern Coachella Valley is a youth-driven, LGBTQ+-affirming space situated in downtown Coachella. It hosts support groups, workshops, and social events as well as offers programing to local high schools that addresses youth mental health and uplifts queer people. It’s the kind of place that didn’t exist for Gonzalez when he was growing up in the area. But also, by being involved in its operation and showing up for its programming, Gonzalez has become the kind of person he never knew existed when he was young.

DAP Health Director of Brand Marketing and longtime friend Steven Henke describes Gonzalez as a “north star” for young people in the valley. “Anyone can look at the life he’s created and learn from it,” he says.

For Gonzalez, returning to his old home is both inspiring and daunting. “When I go back to Indio, there’s still that fear … the homophobia is still there,” he says. “Hopefully, through the Center, we can educate individuals that we are here … and we’re not evil, we’re not bad!”

Recently, Gonzalez had such a chance to educate. He joined Wheeler in the car parade of the 2021 East Coachella Valley Pride Festival — only the fifth year of its existence. Driving through the streets of Coachella, seeing all the rainbow flags and people cheering in support, it was clear his old home had changed — and so had he.

Play Like A Porn Star

Play like a porn star

 

Here’s everything you need to know to keep yourself — and your play partner(s) — safe and healthy

 

Words by Daniel Vaillancourt

 

“We believe that living your best life includes living your best sex life,” says DAP Health Director of Community Health and Sexual Wellness C.J. Tobe. “The medical professionals and support staff at our clinics in Palm Springs and Indio have therefore been specifically trained to fulfill all of your health care needs. 

“If you have any questions after reading the following articles, please know we’re here to answer them honestly — without judgment, stigma, or shame ever entering the equation. Because, if there’s one place you can talk openly about your most intimate concerns, it’s with us at
DAP Health.”

Dr. Carlton’s Tips for Tops and Bottoms

Named one of the Out 100 in 2022 for his cheekily frank sex-ed posts and vids that have been viewed millions of times, Dr. Carlton Thomas, 51, is a South Carolina-born, Mayo Clinic-educated gastroenterologist who today practices in San Diego, where he lives with his husband, Alex, and their twins, who are soon to be high school graduates. 

But the good doc — who’s been a bona fide Instagram influencer and TikTok star since 2020 — has a soft spot for the desert, having worked his first job out of med school here from 2004 to 2009. 

When Dr. Carlton participated in a vivid public forum about sexual wellness at DAP Health’s Pride Pavilion last November, attendees were as charmed as they were informed by his deep knowledge of all things related to butt (and overall) health. 

Below, please find pro advice from the man fast becoming the gay Dr. Ruth.

Tops

  • Tease your bottom prior to entering him. There are millions of nerve endings down there. Your fingers, tongue, and tip work well.
  • Let — and help — your bottom open up. Use the Butt Clock technique (learn it on Insta @doctorcarlton), and take it slowly at first, to avoid injury. No ramming. Ever.
  • Make sure your bottom finishes. And don’t pull out too fast. That could hurt him.
  • To avoid a urinary tract infection, pee when you’re done.

Bottoms

  • To control your top’s initial speed and depth of entry, start on top.
  • Don’t forget to breathe.
  • Push out a little as your top slides in.
  • Take your time, so you don’t tear.

For Both of You

  • Use lots of good lube (silicone is best), applying and reapplying generously.
  • Communicate by using eye contact for visual cues, and by talking and listening for verbal cues.
  • Change positions frequently to keep things exciting. Find the best option for both of you. 

If you’re new to bottoming, Dr. Carlton suggests using toys to learn how to open up and take it. “I recommend one that has a small tip and gets progressively wider, so you can go at your own pace,” he says. “There’s so much work — and an insane amount of pressure — that goes into preparing to bottom. A lot of guys are terrified they aren’t clean enough. But if you’re on a good, high-fiber diet, you should be able to flush out completely in about 15 to 20 minutes. Some guys tell me they’re in there for four or five hours. That’s overdoing it.”

Not that tops are completely stress-free. “There’s a lot of performance anxiety about getting and maintaining a strong erection,” says Dr. Carlton, adding that, thankfully, good meds are available for those challenged in that respect. “A lot of tops worry their penis isn’t big or thick enough. But a bottom’s G-spot is only a couple of inches in. You don’t have to be huge to hit it right.”

One last bit of wisdom: Inspect the goods before you play. “If something doesn’t look or smell right,” says Dr. Carlton, “just politely step away with, ‘I don’t think this is gonna work out today. Let’s try another time.’”

For more expert counsel on countless topics, follow Dr. Carlton on Instagram and TikTok  @doctorcarlton.

Daddy Knows Best

ANDY CLEMENTS (AKA ADULT FILM PERFORMER DREW SEBASTIAN) WANTS YOU TO DO AS HE DOES AND MAINTAIN YOUR — AND YOUR PARTNERS’ — SEXUAL HEALTH

In 1990, when 15-year-old Andy Clements saw his first nudes in a gay male magazine — was it Honcho, Inches, Mandate? — he not only knew he liked what he saw, he realized he wanted to be in those pages, too. It would, however, take 20 years for this handsome and charming Knoxville, Tennessee native to turn his dream into reality thanks to his alter ego, who performs under the nom de porn Drew Sebastian. But more on that in a bit.

Clements, who’d figured out his queerness as a young boy, showed an early penchant for musical theatre. He therefore took private singing lessons as a teen before going on to study classical voice in college. Performing in Vegas and at theme parks post-graduation led him to Houston, where — bored with survival office jobs — he began escorting and go-go dancing. When he first visited San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair, at age 35 in 2010, Clements contacted a few studios to explore having sex on camera.

By then, he was enrolled in the prestigious culinary and hospitality school Le Cordon Bleu. After that graduation, he reinvented himself as a celebrity chef, creating healthy cuisine for the likes of Adam Levine, Jordana Brewster, and Charlie Puth, among many others who must remain nameless due to non-disclosure agreements. 

All the while, Clements continued to dabble in sex work off and on until his adult film career inexplicably exploded in 2015, when he was 40. The late bloomer has since made up for lost time, winning twin 2022 Grabby Awards as both Performer of the Year and Hottest Daddy, and also co-starring in the winner of the Best Feature category at the 2023 Gay Video Network Awards (GayVNs).

If there’s a theme to the life led today by Clements — who moved to Palm Springs from Los Angeles at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, finding sobriety in the desert in the process — it’s health. He now not only works as a personal fitness trainer at local gym Training & Discipline on East Tahquitz Canyon Way, but is authoring a cookbook for those who wish to eat well, and is even writing a cabaret act he’ll perform some time in the near future.

This commitment to wellness extends to keeping his co-stars, as well as his boyfriend in Italy, safe from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) by testing fully and often. “Because I’m so sexually active, I like to test every three months,” he says. “But there are times I feel I need to test more often, so I do.”

Regardless of the frequency, Clements always undergoes what’s known as three-site testing, which involves bloodwork for HIV and syphilis as well as a urine samples, plus throat and rectal swabs, to detect the presence of gonorrhea and chlamydia.

“Three-site testing is important because different bacteria can be in different locations and a single test does not diagnose all areas,” says DAP Health Nurse Practitioner and Clinical Supervisor of Sexual Wellness Trent Broadus. “For example, a urine specimen doesn’t let us know about infection in the throat or rectum, and one could potentially have chlamydia in the former and gonorrhea in the latter. Many people are asymptomatic, so we highly encourage testing all three sites at each visit.”

Broadus further explains that gonorrhea and chlamydia have an incubation period of approximately three days, while syphilis can take longer — 10 to 21 days — to show up on a test. “That’s why getting a syphilis test as a baseline is so important,” he says. 

Clements, who visits various testing facilities depending on where he is around the country or throughout the world, does use DAP Health’s Orange Clinic (where all HIV and STI testing is always free for everyone) when he’s in town. “The whole point is to try to stay on top of it as best you can,” he says, “so you can protect not only yourself, but your partners.” 

Follow Clements at his pro Twitter and Instagram handles, @DrewSebastianX.

PrEP and PEP 101: Because Prevention Is Priceless

A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE ADVENT OF PREP FOR HIV MORE THAN 10 YEARS AGO

What is PrEP?

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is different medications that can lower your chances of getting HIV and certain other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

PrEP for HIV Prevention

Administered orally via one pill daily — or by a single injection every two months — PrEP can reduce your risk of contracting HIV. Before starting PrEP, you’ll need to get tested for HIV, STIs, kidney function, and Hepatitis B and C. Please note it takes at least one week on PrEP before you are protected for anal sex, and three weeks for vaginal sex. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), when taken as prescribed, PrEP reduces the risk of HIV infection from sexual activity by
more than 99%, and by at least 74% for those who use
intravenous drugs.

PrEP for STI Prevention

Most commonly referred to as Doxy PrEP, doxycycline can be used to lower your chances of becoming infected with chlamydia or syphilis. Some studies also show effectiveness in preventing gonorrhea. Dosage is one 100mg tablet taken
once daily. 

Your PrEP Navigator at DAP Health

If you’re interested in PrEP, contact PrEP Navigators at DAP Health. You can also talk to any nurse or nurse practitioner during your visit if you want to discuss which PrEP may be right for you. If you don’t have health care insurance, or if you need financial assistance, a PrEP navigator can also explain your options, help you get access, and answer questions about finding a doctor or working with your pharmacy.

Follow-up Visits

All PrEP options require follow-up appointments with clinical staff for STI testing and medication refills every two (injectable PrEP) or three (oral PrEP) months.

What is PEP?

PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) is different medications — taken ideally within 24 hours (but no later than 72 hours) after condomless sex where bodily fluid may have been exchanged — that can help prevent infection from HIV and certain other STIs in someone who is not on PrEP or Doxy PrEP.

PEP for HIV Prevention

This form of PEP is a combination of three drugs taken once or twice a day for 30 days: tenofovir and emtricitabine (two meds in one tablet) and either raltegravir or dolutegravir. 

PEP for STI Prevention

For prevention of chlamydia, syphilis, and possibly gonorrhea, this form of PEP (also known as Doxy PEP or dPEP) is a one-time dose of two 100mg tablets of doxycycline taken within 72 hours of an exposure.

What Should You Do if Possibly Exposed?

When condomless sex has occurred, and there has been possible exposure to HIV and/or to an STI, do one of these three things ASAP:

  • Contact your health care provider.
  • Go to the emergency room or urgent care.
  • Contact a DAP Health PrEP navigator at 760.656.8400.

What You Should Expect at Your Initial PEP Visit at DAP Health

A complete STI screening — including bloodwork, plus throat and rectal swabs — will be completed by a nurse. A clinician will then assess you, and if appropriate, prescribe PEP medication(s). A follow-up visit (for another complete STI screening 30 days after your initial visit, to confirm the absence of HIV and/or STIs) will be scheduled. 

Free Follow-up Visits and Testing

All PrEP and PEP visits and lab work done at DAP Health’s sexual wellness clinics in Palm Springs and Indio are always free of charge for all patients.

So, You Want to Open Your Relationship…

NAVIGATING NON-MONOGAMY TAKES LOVE, PATIENCE, TRUST, RESPECT, HONESTY, AND — MOST IMPORTANTLY —A SET OF MUTUALLY AGREED UPON RULES

One thing fans love most about Dr. Carlton Thomas is his willingness to answer anonymous questions and give advice through social media. “One of the most frequent ones I get is, ‘My husband is really vanilla and plain and doesn’t have a very big sex drive. I’m a big pig who wants this and that, and I don’t know how to tell him,’” Carlton confides. “It’s important to remember that, when it comes to our relationships in the gay world, we don’t have to follow heteronormative rules of how things go. There doesn’t have to be pure monogamy. You can work that out between the two parties. I think being open-minded — and separating sex and love — is important. Also, being willing to compromise. Some people who are tentative about non-monogamy can ease into it by only playing with others together, at least at first. Frequent reassurance and communication are key.”

Certainly, an open relationship isn’t for every couple, but if two committed people want to explore non-monogamy, mutually agreed upon rules that will govern the arrangement are the best place to start.

Because being open requires a strong degree of love, honest communication, trust, and respect, it’s advisable that two people form a strong, monogamous bond before venturing out. And it must be said: Early in a romantic relationship, non-monogamy usually isn’t an issue. Most people have no desire to have sex with someone other than their primary partner.

But if you’re both ready to test the waters of nonexclusivity in the bedroom, some of the questions you may want to consider when setting the boundaries for sexual activity outside your primary relationship include:

Who?

  • Anyone
  • Anonymous only
  • Only us and a third
  • No friends
  • No mutual friends
  • No repeats
  • Regular play buddies OK
  • Coupled guys only (no singles)

Are we HIV-friendly?

What?

  • Watching/showing off only
  • Mutual JO only
  • Oral OK
  • Anal OK (Top? Bottom? Either?)
  • Kissing OK
  • Threesomes
  • Condoms only
  • Just sex — no dates
  • What about overnights?

When?

  • Any time
  • Only when one of us is out of town
  • Only when one of us is at work/not at home
  • Only when it doesn’t conflict with together time
  • Only when we both agree it’s allowed
  • Only when we’re together (in a bathhouse or sex club, in a threesome)

Where?

  • Anywhere
  • Only in public (rest room, bathhouse, gym steam room, park)
  • Only at their place
  • Never at their place
  • Only at home
  • Never at home
  • Never in our bed
  • Only in our bed

In conclusion, perhaps the important rule is this: If one of you breaks a rule, that person must reveal it. From there, both partners agree to discuss the matter — with neither blame nor anger — so that a deeper understanding of the situation can be reached. If you both feel you need couples counseling, go for it. The bottom line (no pun intended) is this: Your primary relationship (and the love, honest communication, trust, and respect inherent in it) matters most. Don’t lie. Don’t hide. That’s cheating — and cheating is the last thing an open relationship is all about. 

Don’t Be Lax on Your Vax

INOCULATION ISN’T JUST ALL ABOUT COVID-19 BOOSTERS AND MPOX JABS. HERE’S A LIST OF MUST-HAVE VACCINATIONS FOR THE SEXUALLY ACTIVE

More than three years into the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic — and as the world celebrates the victory over the mpox resurgence — all of us surely know there exist vaccinations and boosters for those two maladies, both of which are especially contagious when humans find themselves in close quarters. But here’s a reminder that there are a few more inoculations appropriate for anyone with a dating pool bigger than a
shot glass.

Influenza

No matter the stated effectiveness of the annual fall flu shot — or whether you believe in its ability to thwart off disease at all — while you’re at it, why not give it a shot (pun entirely intended).

Hepatitis A and B

Hep A is commonly contracted via anal/oral contact, or by ingesting contaminated food or water. Hep B, like HIV, is passed on through blood. Both cause liver disease that can quickly become complicated, leading to liver failure and/or cancer. 

Human Papillomavirus

HPV is actually the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI), and can not only cause genital warts, but rectal and cervical cancer, and possibly even cancer of the throat and pharynx. Best administered before one is ever sexually active, its vaccine nonetheless does offer protection even following exposure to the virus.

Meningitis

Meningitis can be a life-threatening viral, bacterial, or fungal infection of the brain, spinal cord, and cerebrospinal fluid. But thankfully, there’s a vax for that!

Shingles

The CDC recommends adults 50 years and older get the shingles vaccine to prevent the illness and its complications, which include a seriously painful rash.

“I hope that, having recently been poked in the arm on more occasions than they ever have in their entire life, people have truly come to understand and appreciate the value of vaccines,” says DAP Health Nurse Practitioner and Clinical Supervisor of Sexual Wellness Trent Broadus. “Get them. They work!”

Please note that, while DAP Health does not offer vaccinations in either of its sexual wellness clinics in Palm Springs or Indio, those who receive primary care here may be able to access inoculations through their provider. If you’re not yet a patient of DAP Health, talk to your doctor about how to schedule, and stay up on, these important vaccines.

Safer Drug Use Saves Lives

Safer Drug Use Saves Lives

 

Improving Fentanyl Overdose Outcomes Is Just One Facet Of DAP Health’s New Harm Reduction Program

 

Words by Jim Macak

 

Tom (not his real name) is a tall, thin, handsomely weathered 67-year-old Maui native raised in Long Beach. He’s been HIV-positive for 17 years, unhoused in Palm Springs for 12, and a moderate crystal meth user for 10. 

He discovered DAP Health’s Harm Reduction Program about a year ago, thanks to his daily attendance at Well in the Desert’s hot meal service. DAP Health’s team — Community Health Harm Reduction Supervisor Neil Gussardo, Educator Bree Clark-Pharr, and longtime volunteer Suzanne Petersen — shows up twice a week at this location. Tom recalls that, without any reservation, he jumped at the chance to benefit from their provision of clean bubble bowls, which are the part of glass pipes where methamphetamine is heated.

“They’re completely compassionate,” Tom says of Gussardo, Clark-Pharr, and Petersen. “They’re sensitive to your needs. They want you to have the safest equipment for your drug use. They’re very supportive without ever pushing recovery on you.” In fact, he recommends the program to all his unhoused friends who use drugs.

Gussardo is no newcomer to serving people experiencing substance use disorder. He has worked in the field for more than 20 years, beginning his career in San Francisco, then transitioning to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage. He has been with DAP Health since February 2022, and explains that the Harm Reduction Program has two priorities. The first is to provide equipment that will reduce the transmission of HIV, hepatitis C, and other illnesses. 

Specifically, the program provides fresh syringes, gift cards as an incentive for those who bring in used syringes, alcohol swabs and cotton filters for injections, test strips to determine if a more dangerous synthetic opioid like fentanyl is mixed in with other drugs, cookers to help convert drugs in solid form to liquid, and clean pipes, glass bubble bowls, pipe extensions, and foil used in smoking opiates.

The second priority, Gussardo says, is to distribute opioid overdose treatments proven effective, such as injectable naloxone and the nasal spray Narcan (recently approved for over-the-counter sales by the FDA, and likely available by late summer). Persons who overdose cannot typically self-administer such aids, so the products are provided to fellow users who can come to the rescue should need be. Proper training for administering overdose therapy is provided as well.

The reaction to this program has been positive. But occasional negative comments are not uncommon from passersby who learn what services Gussardo and his colleagues supply. “We absolutely encounter folks who think we’re enabling drug use rather than reducing the risk of harm,” he says, adding that by diminishing disease transmission, the program is saving society a considerable amount of money and time spent treating people infected with HIV or hep C. “We’re helping alleviate a drain on the system, person by person.”

More importantly, according to Gussardo, “It’s been reported to us from our participants that they’ve used either naloxone or Narcan provided by DAP Health to reverse 104 overdoses from September through January. That’s 104 lives saved.” 

The Harm Reduction Program took root in the middle of 2022, at a time when overdoses from fentanyl had become an epidemic throughout the country. The drug is a legally prescribed painkiller, but in the last 10 years it has become a widely used street drug that’s up to 50 times stronger than heroine and 100 times stronger than morphine, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). It’s often added to other drugs because of its extreme potency which, according to the CDC, makes substances cheaper, more powerful, more addictive, and much more dangerous. The number of overdose deaths involving fentanyl, the CDC reports, shot up from 1,615 in 2012 to more than 71,000 in 2021.

According to the California Department of Public Health, there were 408 overdose deaths involving fentanyl in 2021 in Riverside County. Statistics on confirmed overdose deaths for 2022 are not yet available. Sheriff Chad Bianco told City News Service last October that the rate of fentanyl poisonings is soaring, and that the number of confirmed deaths “is going to increase significantly.” 

The majority of participants in DAP Health’s Harm Reduction Program, Gussardo says, are unhoused. Twice a week, his team drives its van to churches on the western end of the Coachella Valley, linking arms with the aforementioned Well in the Desert, a nonprofit that provides hot meals five days a week for working poor, persons without homes, and others. 

When Gussardo, Clark-Pharr, and Petersen aren’t with Well in the Desert, they look for encampments. And if people at these locations are interested, the team works with them, too.

“We’re not doing counseling,” maintains Gussardo, “but we do see people on a repeat basis. Sometimes we see the same person twice a week. And we’re building a rapport with them, building trust, and providing referrals for additional services.”

Gussardo reveals the Harm Reduction Program has started reaching out to another group he refers to as “the party and play crowd” — gay men who, in sexual situations, occasionally use crystal meth, and who “potentially share syringes” — by establishing a Thursday evening presence on Palm Springs’ Arenas Road, where a number of gay bars are located. While still in its infancy, that initiative is slowly but surely building a clientele. 

Next steps, Gussardo says, will include strategically based vending machines allowing for 24-hour access to complimentary safer-use materials such as Narcan and clean paraphernalia.

One theme Gussardo stresses in terms of harm reduction generally is how much of the population stigmatizes those who use drugs. Based on his experience in talking with those who use, he says that when these people reach out for help, they’re often met “with all the stigma of addiction. They’re met with people who don’t treat them as human beings, which then becomes a barrier to any kind of treatment.”

Part of the solution, Gussardo maintains, would be to reference “a person who uses drugs” as simply that, or as a person with a substance use disorder — rather than as a drug addict. This is part of a “people first” use of language to reduce the impact of stigma that Gussardo and other Harm Reduction team members emphasize.

Does this approach really work? According to Tom, it definitely does.

Anyone interested in receiving clean supplies is encouraged to visit DAP Health’s Harm Reduction team in the field.
Call 760.323.2118, Extension 504, to inquire about schedules and locations. 

On the Rack

On the Rack

 

Revivals shows its cheekier side

 

Words by Daniel Hirsch • Photo by Aaron Jay Young

 

Voted Best of the Desert thrift store and furniture store, DAP Health's Revivals Thrift Store brand offers visitors many unique treasures. Beautiful midcentury modern furniture and eclectic fashion finds, of course, but also — if you come by the back alley after closing on just the right night — leather harnesses, chaps, cat o’ nine tails, rare erotic artwork, and a plethora of other adult-centric goodies.

“Just the right night” is whenever Revivals After Dark, the store’s 18-and-over evening event, occurs. Revivals first hosted this pop-up sale four years ago to sell items inappropriate for the family-friendly retail space’s regular hours and racks. It’s since become a semi-annual, highly anticipated, and buzzy community event. Like general sales from Revivals, all Revivals After Dark proceeds go to support DAP Health patient and client services, and more than $70,000 has been raised since its first outing. 

“This is a win-win-win,” says Revivals volunteer Mark Musin, who has spearheaded Revivals After Dark since 2020. “You get to get rid of some stuff that you loved, that you had great memories with, and pass that along to someone else.” Musin adds those beloved items have included vintage leather chaps, adult movies, vintage photographs, and even a sex sling or two. “You should see the people who buy these things! They are so thrilled.”

More than just a clothing sale, Revivals After Dark, which takes place outside, behind the four-store chain’s Palm Springs location, has a party-like atmosphere. It’s a place not to just get a great deal — with a leather harness going for as little as $25 — but to see and be seen. Past events have featured DJs and Mr. Palm Springs Leather contestants modeling looks. It’s not uncommon to see strapping fellows stripping off clothing to try on a leather vest. It’s fun that also makes an impact.

“It’s a great opportunity for us to get together, which is really important for the leather community,” says Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert (PSLOD) President David Dunn. “And Revivals provides a fun, and somewhat different, environment in which others can be introduced to us. It’s awesome!”

PSLOD, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting the leather, kink, and fetish community of the Coachella Valley, has been a partner with Revivals at all the After Dark events, promoting it widely to its membership and being on hand to answer any leather- and kink-related questions curious shoppers may have. PSLOD also receives $1,000 in donations from each event. 

“The leather community has a lot of purposes and a lot of goals, but one of them is philanthropy. Another is supporting the community,” says DAP Health Director of Brand Marketing Steven Henke. “PSLOD’s mission is to build a stronger, healthier community — and that’s DAP Health’s mission as well.”

The initial idea for Revivals After Dark — as well as the partnership it would solidify between DAP Health and PSLOD — emerged from pure happenstance. Henke recalls walking through the Revivals warehouse one day and noticing a large pile of books and magazines of a “more adult nature.” When a volunteer explained they were too graphic to put out in the store and that there were many more items like that in the Revivals trove of donations, Henke realized there was an opportunity to do a uniquely private event that connects with members of the leather and fetish community while raising funds for DAP Health.

The first Revivals After Dark occurred inside the Revivals Palm Springs store in 2019, featuring merchandise laid out in the aisles. To everyone’s delight — but not necessarily to anyone’s surprise — it was a hit, raising nearly $6,000 in 90 minutes. A second event seemed like a no-brainer, but 2020, with its ensuing global pandemic, required getting creative. So, Revivals After Dark moved from inside the store to the alley outside — with clothing racks and tables of merchandise set up al fresco. In doing so, it fully crystallized into the form it was perhaps always meant to have. “It has a vibe that fits the merchandise really, really well,” says Henke of the backlot setting. 

In November 2020, the second back-alley Revivals After Dark proved to be even more successful, with more than 200 people lined up, masked and socially distant, hours before the event’s start time. Since then, there’s been two sales a year and the curation of items available, led by Mark Musin and a squad of Revivals volunteers, has grown more expansive.

Musin emphasizes that it’s not just leather gear or material of interest to the leather community that’s on sale. The product mix his team puts together boasts a wide array of fashion, erotica, and kink objects favored by the general LGBTQ+ community. According to Musin, shoppers have included young people and older alike, an expansive gender spectrum, as well as residents from every corner of the Coachella Valley.

For many, the history of some objects also adds to their allure. At the Revivals After Dark in June, Bob Miller, a Desert Hot Springs resident who has long been involved in the leather community and describes himself as “a boot guy,” was surprised to meet another boot collector who had donated about 50 pairs to Revivals. The man had lived abroad in Europe, where he collected various rare and heritage boot brands, maintaining them in immaculate shape. Miller snapped up about seven pairs at a great price, each with an intriguing backstory, um, to boot!

“I get most excited about the vintage photography and oil paintings,” says Henke, noting that these objects are often created by, or feature, gay men that may no longer be with us. “This is our history… They beg to be remembered.”

With history in mind, Musin and his team often consult with historians and organizations like the Tom of Finland Foundation to make sure they’re appropriately handling any rare or historically significant donations. 

For Dunn, speaking on behalf of PSLOD, Revivals After Dark also represents his community’s future. It’s an event that can demystify leather, kink, or fetish communities to those who may be curious. Given the affordable price tags, it’s a more accessible place to start a leather collection, spring for a set of quality restraints, or acquire whatever article expresses a part of one’s identity yet to be explored. “It’s a very sex-positive event where there’s no shaming of anyone,” says Musin. “There’s a place for everyone.”

Given the lines at the door and the fact that the harnesses sell out in mere minutes, everyone indeed seems to have gotten the memo about Revivals After Dark.

He Ain't Heavy

He Ain’t Heavy

Brothers of the Desert President Tim Vincent says the organization’s wellness summit allows gay Black men to connect to community and health

Words by Trey Burnette • Photo by Aaron Jay Young

The Coachella Valley likes to pride itself on diversity. However, attending community functions, programs, or gatherings could lead one to believe the desert community is less diverse than it considers itself to be.

At a 2017 New Year’s Eve gathering, a group of friends — all of whom were gay Black men — realized they all shared similar feelings of isolation and disconnection from much of the greater Palm Springs community. They knew men like them were out there, living productive lives, but they didn’t always see one another partaking in the many activities the valley had to offer. They felt isolated not only as individuals but also as a smaller community within the larger desert family.

Tim Vincent was one of those men at the party. To meet him, it’s hard to imagine he would feel isolated and disconnected from any community, but he says after moving to Palm Springs with his partner about six years ago, they had “the only people in the room” moments. At first, he didn’t notice it; he was used to being different. “But it can be hard being the only Black person in the room,” he says. Then he discovered others were experiencing the same feeling he and his partner were, and suspected there had to be more men he didn’t know out there facing the same feelings. 

The men were having a James Baldwin flash — the challenge was in the moment and the time was right. So, they acted by reaching out to the other gay African American men who felt isolated and disconnected, and formed Brothers of the Desert (BOD). Their mission was “to nurture and support gay Black men and allies through education, advocacy, social networking, volunteerism, and mentorship.” 

Today, Vincent serves as the president of the nonprofit, which was formalized as such in 2020. He has more than 30 years of experience working in the HIV and health care fields, including work with the CDC and the University of California San Francisco. His understanding of health care and patient engagement was beneficial as BOD grew and formed partnerships with DAP Health. 

Vincent explains that BOD started with monthly meetings where members could discuss concerns affecting them and the community. The leading members realized the community needed more than meetings, so they formed their first outfacing event, their Wellness Summit, in November of 2019, originally held at the LGBTQ Community Center of the Desert. DAP Health became a sponsor in their third year.

“We were building and investing in the health and wellness of our community,” Vincent says. “We wanted to take a holistic and comprehensive approach, addressing community members’ physical, mental, spiritual, financial, and social health.” And they did. What the Wellness Summit offered was tailored to the needs of the Black community. They incorporated the intersection of being Black and gay and how the stressful effects of racism and homophobia affect the individual’s and community’s health. 

Four years later, the annual Wellness Summit has grown and is now held at Margaritaville Resort Palm Springs. DAP Health is still a sponsor, and the November 2022 summit had about 200 guests — twice the size of the first event. The Wellness Summit hosts speakers who are medical doctors, spiritual practitioners, business leaders, yoga instructors, and other experts offering education in their specialized fields. It creates a space where people feel comfortable asking wellness questions. Workshops are also available for guests to get hands-on experiences with wellness practices. Vincent has received positive feedback from attendees, and hopes the event will grow into a multi-day affair. 

BOD also provides a quarterly speaker series throughout the year. Guest lecturers are thought leaders and experts who give educational talks that support and maintain what is learned at the Wellness Summit. Participants can engage and discuss topics like mindfulness, systemic racism, microaggressions, and mental health for Black queer people. Furthermore, those chats also act as a gateway for BOD to steer members to DAP Health, where they can find similar wellness opportunities to the ones they learned about at the Wellness Summit. Acupuncture, yoga, massage, sex and intimacy groups, stress-management groups, and building-positive-life groups are just some of the opportunities attendees can take advantage of to maintain a holistic approach to wellness.

As the partnerships between BOD and DAP Health grow, Vincent hopes Black community members will deepen their knowledge that both organizations can help them find health resources and solutions.

For more information, please visit brothersofthedesert.org and follow the group on Insta @brothersofthedesert.

How Will You Be Remembered?

How Will You Be Remembered?

 

Planned legacy giving is one way to ensure the continued success of DAP Health

 

Words by Greg Archer

The late, great civil rights icon Harvey Milk once said, “The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow…” 

 

Milk may have been referring to generating equality and fueling civil rights, but his words ring true today when it comes to planned legacy giving and the bequests individuals intentionally make to better their local community after they’re gone. In that respect, planned legacy giving is all about keeping hope afloat.

Including DAP Health in one’s estate plan allows the organization to continue ensuring the health and well-being of the community. As desert residents, and the LGBTQ+ community in particular, quickly head into the middle of the decade amidst social and political uncertainty, planning for the future has never been more vital.

“We all know that if you don’t plan your estate, the government will tell you where it’s going to go. I don’t think any of us want that to happen,” says Palm Springs realtor and philanthropist Andy Linsky, who served on DAP Health’s board of directors from 1990 to 2014, and who was its chair from 1998 to 2002. Linsky also founded Partners for Life (PFL), a prominent DAP Health donor group that offers significant financial support to assist the nonprofit with ongoing local health matters, social services, outreach, and much more.

“Planned giving is a great way to control your legacy,” Linsky continues, “and it doesn’t have to be huge dollar amounts. Whatever you have in your estate, it’s really comforting to know you have addressed it, and that your instructions will be followed. We had a presentation about planned giving a while back, and a gentleman made a statement that sums up why everybody should have an estate plan. He said, ‘Because everybody’s got stuff. And everybody’s going to die.’ It’s very basic, but it has humor in it, and it makes sense.”

Through the years, Linsky has been instrumental in stoking several creative fires at DAP Health — from creating the PFL program of sustaining donors to advocating for planned legacy giving. He’s quick to point out that the organization has been strategic in keeping up with all the changes throughout the decades, where some other organizations and communities may have “imploded because they failed to plan for the changing landscape. The important thing is that the need is there, and always will be, for Partners for Life and planned legacy giving.”

  1. Christopher Heritage — founder of Heritage Legal, PC, which offers legal services for estate planning — specifically hones in on the unique estate and relationship planning needs of the LGBTQ+ community and other non-traditional families. 

“Within the gay and lesbian community, for instance, most of us don’t have children. So, one way of ensuring a legacy is leaving a portion, or all of your estate, to charities,” Heritage says. “People leave to charities to try to reduce their taxable estate. One of the best tools for making charitable gifts is through retirement assets, such as IRAs and 401(k)s, because the charity receives 100% of those assets. Whereas, when you leave retirement assets to a person, they usually have to take a full distribution of it within 10 years and pay their personal income tax rate — federal and state — so you might lose 30-40% of the retirement assets’ value.” 

Heritage goes on to say that currently, “an estate is federally taxed only if its value exceeds $12.92 million per individual, and double that for married couples (estate and lifetime gift tax exemption), and the state of California has no estate tax at all since it was repealed by voters in 1982. However, even if an estate doesn’t reach the $12.92 million taxable threshold, there may be capital gains taxes that would need to be paid if an asset, such as a highly appreciated stock, or real estate, is left to an individual. Whereas, if you leave that asset to a charity, you can avoid any capital gains taxes.”

Another thing people should keep an eye on is that the current estate and lifetime gift tax exemption sunsets on December 31, 2025 — if Congress doesn’t do anything to change or extend it — and returns to $5 million per individual.
This will make many more estates potentially taxable. 

Other things to know: Secure Act 2.0 was introduced in 2023, making modifications to the original Secure Act affecting retirement. The change increases the required minimum distribution (RMD) age, meaning retirees must now begin taking taxable withdrawals at 73, and at 75 by 2033. The new law does not increase the age an IRA owner can make a qualified charitable distribution, which remains at 70 and a half years. This extension allows individuals more time to save. One thing to consider is to donate your RMDs to your charities.

For planned legacy donor and philanthropist Al Jones, DAP Health was the clear choice. Jones was married to his husband Marc Byrd for 26 years before Byrd passed away in 2018. Jones donated significant funds to the organization, which were specifically earmarked for the establishment of the Marc Byrd Behavioral Health Clinic, unveiled in spring 2022. 

“I think it’s important to consider thoroughly supporting an institution that reflects one’s philosophy and values,” Jones shares. “There is no better time to think of organizations to support via a planned legacy gift than the present. An organization like DAP Health needs to raise money to provide services to both those with and without insurance, both now and in the future. But it’s nice to know that the organization will receive funds in the future that will significantly help those budgets as well. So, legacy planned giving is really a way to provide a significant gift from your estate, deferring to give to a time in the future — literally, after you have passed away. And these legacy gifts give the organization an opportunity to plan for the future. 

“I wanted to do something memorable for Marc,” Jones continues. “I gave a legacy gift of $250,000, but also used that as a challenge grant to raise money for DAP Health’s general fund.” 

Sean K. Heslin — who runs Heslin Wealth Management, an affiliate of LPL Financial — advocates for making sure that upon death, a certain percentage of resources go to a charitable organization. “I educate my clients that it is just as simple as making sure you properly establish your beneficiaries,” he says. That’s typically where Heslin or other financial advisors will come in and make sure that an account is set up with a beneficiary designation. Other things come into play, too. 

“When you have an IRA or brokerage account, an annuity, or even a bank account —whatever it is — normally your spouse or partner is set up as the primary beneficiary,” Heslin continues. “But also, you can assign contingent beneficiaries and state, for example, that 50% is assigned to DAP Health and 50% is assigned to the LGBT Community Center of the Desert, or whichever charity you prefer. 

“That’s really important to do one way or the other — either having a beneficiary designation established, or title your accounts in the name of a living trust, when possible. Then the trust can have all the beneficiary designations you want to have. If you don’t have accounts titled in the name of a trust, or at least have assigned beneficiaries, when you pass away, your assets will most likely never make it to a charity. Funds and assets without beneficiary designations will most likely go through probate and eventually will either be paid out to a relative, a ‘next of kin’ you may not want to leave money to, or worse, funds will just be taken over by the state.”

Linsky sums up the importance of looking toward a future beyond your own in a graceful way: “Legacy planned giving is a very fulfilling act, emotionally and spiritually.”

Learn more about planned legacy giving by visiting PlannedGiving.DAPHealth.org.